Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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