ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
