your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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