Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
