I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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