shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
