Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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