my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
