He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
