Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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