So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
