they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
