maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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