just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
