mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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