your thong is hanging out like whoa
In America we eat man semen.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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