We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
