Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
