I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
