I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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