he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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