I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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