I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
