He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
