so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
