on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
