But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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