thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
