Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
