Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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