and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
