You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
