i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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