There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
