i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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