Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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