im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
