No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
