Slut skills are useful in every country.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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