Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
