are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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