What did we do last night that was yellow?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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