did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
