The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
