Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
