As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
