just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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