he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
