i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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