i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
