you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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