That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
