Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
a search helicopter?!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
