told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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